Is your Mindset preventing you from Losing Weight?
Trust me. I know what it’s like when you have a goal around your health or weight and your body seems to have a different plan. I know the frustration when you’re “doing everything right” and yet your body won’t seem to comply with what you’ve been told will work. I even know the pain of hating on your body when it doesn’t do what you want it to do or behave in concordance with your myriad shoulds…
“My body SHOULD be able to run 5 miles by now.”
“I SHOULD have lost 8 pounds by now.”
“My symptoms SHOULD have healed by now.”
“I’ve done x, y, z and my body SHOULD be feeling amazing.”
With all of our “shoulds”, expectations and stories it’s no wonder our bodies can’t keep up!
What we end up doing with all the “shoulding” is disconnect from listening. We move from honoring our bodies to beating up on them. We go from being fully functioning and healthy selves to bodies that we think need to be “fixed” or tamed or self-shamed into obedience. Also, too much “shoulding” creates low-level stress in our bodies which eventually causes inflammation which makes your body even less likely to feel healthy or release weight (if that is something you’re looking to do).
Before I officially stopped dieting, 2 years ago, I would chastise my body for not complying to the norms of my typical weight loss trajectories. “What?” I would say. “Last time I dieted, I lost 5 pounds the first week, and now it’s only 3! What’s wrong with me?” I would wonder.
I didn’t stop to honor what was my reality right now: That my 41 year old body was different than my 31 year old body. That the body that hadn’t yet housed 3 babies was different than one that carried my 3 beautiful daughters. I didn’t think to think that nothing was wrong with me and that was simply what the behaviors I did that week earned me. I didn’t realize that it needn’t be a call to arms or a redoubling of efforts to accomplish what once was. I didn’t understand that I didn’t need to bully myself through excessive, stressful exercise or by skipping dinner that night. I learned later that those games merely set me back further and made me miserable, resentful and irritable.
Let me save you the element of surprise:
Your body won’t always cooperate with your timelines, your judgements of what is successful or adjust itself to your external whims and expectations. Your body, thankfully, is smarter than that and above all else wants to protect you.
Your body won’t always cooperate with your timelines Click To Tweet
What it will do, however, is communicate with you, give you feedback and teach you how to care for it – your job in return is to listen closely, honor and trust what it tells you. For it’s this intrinsic wisdom and deep listening that ultimately and completely bring you happiness in your skin – apart from the “shoulds,” stories and beseeching.
After a lot of soul-searching, I realized that my body only cooperated when I cooperated and “played nice” with it. When I jettisoned my own version of what my body should be and honored, loved and accepted what it actually is, I finally found peace and freedom.
It was this paradigm shift that changed everything for me. And it can for you too.
How many “shoulds” have you placed on your body today? This week? This lifetime?
Don’t belabor what your body is not doing or how it is not cooperating and shift your thinking towards how you can cooperate with it. Where can you dig in, get curious, and start listening? And more importantly, where can you let go of stories, judgements, fear, and shoulds?
Are you “shoulding” yourself to the point of where your body has ceased to cooperate with you? Take my quiz to find out!