The Importance of Giving Yourself Daily Permissions
Hi Everyone! I am so excited to have had the wonderful Sarah Steckler, write a guest post for me this week! She and I are soul sisters in the realm of self-love and acceptance and I love her unique voice and message. Please read the article below on the importance of giving yourself permission to be who you are, change your mind and follow your gut, among other things that women sometimes deny themselves of. Would love your comments below and of course share the heck out of this!
I had the honor of getting to know Jenny and the work she does through a number of Facebook groups and I couldn’t be more excited to share a guest post today! No matter your relationship with food or where you are starting out, Jenny has powerful strategies, tools, and mindsets to help you go from viewing food as an enemy and struggle to a satisfying relationship that leaves you feeling nourished and supported.
Speaking of support, it’s easy forget to look inward to ourselves when we need love the most. Today I want to talk to you about the importance of granting yourself permission and compassion on a daily basis.
A common phrase I hear and often tell myself on a daily basis is “I should…” I should be doing this, I should be doing that, I should be better, I should do more… The list goes on. I often talk about “the shoulds” with my clients and how debilitating they can feel after a while. The problem with always making these statements is that it takes us away from where we are now. It can make us feel like we’re not doing enough and makes it harder to realize what we really are doing well, right now. Even on the weekends when we’ve made time for rest and relaxation, that voice can pop up: “I’m so glad I’m able to slow down but I should be working on…” This sucks joy right out of any moment. It would be like telling a friend you’re so glad they came to your party, but isn’t their house still messy? We would never do that – yet we often say similar things to ourselves.
So what are daily permissions and how can they help?
Daily permissions are simple mindset changes and thoughts that can help you to move through your day with less guilt, overwhelm, and more certainty. After all, being true to yourself means acknowledging what you really want and confronting thoughts that don’t serve you or your goals.
Here are 3 Daily Permissions to give yourself on a regular basis:
“I have the right to change my mind”
We value commitment highly in society and of course it’s important not to flake on friends and plans on a regular basis, but when it comes to your own internal thought process and what you’re focused on, you’re allowed to give yourself room to shift, move, and change direction completely.
More often than not we make quick decisions based on what’s available and often forget that we can change our minds or the course of our decisions after something has started. Just the other day, I sat down to write a handful of letters to some friends (I’m a huge fan of snail mail), and the minute I got to my desk, I was overcome with the urge to color instead. I noticed that I suddenly felt like I was at a crossroads. Those “shoulds” started to take up my mind and simply because I had intended to write letters, I felt like I had to. The minute I let this go, I was able to really do what I wanted in that moment and was so much happier because of it. Think of ways small commitments impact your day and notice what it’s like to let them go when you want to.
“There is no right or wrong in this moment, there is only my choice.”
Especially when it comes to food, we often think that we have to make the best choice with every decision. And let’s be honest, choices are endless these days. In a TED Talk by Barry Schwartz, he discusses the paradox of choice and how the overwhelm of choices can often lead to small identity crises and feelings of paralysis. We start to worry that bad things will happen if we don’t make the “correct” choice. It can be helpful to remember that we make endless choices constantly without thinking about them and then for our own reasons, place a high emphasis on others. Giving yourself permission to make whatever choice feels right in the moment can be both liberating and a pure act of self-love.
“I am allowed to pause.”
In this go-go-go world, it can be hard to let ourselves take a break. In fact, you may often feel like there just isn’t time. There could be an argument building up in your mind this very moment. Allowing yourself the ability to pause throughout your day gives you more room to breathe, more mental energy to carry on in the next moment, and a stronger feeling of control and internal support. There is something very zen about putting space between things.
The Swedish word “fika” serves as the tradition for taking coffee breaks and leaving work behind. Instead of using these breaks to squeeze in extra work meetings or chug caffeine quickly in an attempt to work harder, Swedes embrace the moment by catching up with coworkers, indulging in a treat, and making themselves a priority amongst their work. It may be hard to make a shift into taking pauses and breaks but reminding yourself that you have the ability to and the right to, can be a positive first step.
Giving yourself permission can be a powerful tool in cultivating more self-love, care, and awareness of yourself and your happiness. The simple reminder that we have continual choice for our own well being can allow us to see each moment with more clarity, less anxiety, and more focused intention.
You deserve to live each day in the ways that serve you best and allow you to feel happy, nourished, and at ease from the inside out.
Sarah Steckler is a Creative Self-Love Coach who helps women identify their goals, pinpoint what’s holding them back, and create meaningful action that allows them to feel how they deserve, get what they want, and create a better relationship with themselves in the process. In her FREE Self-Love Guide, she offers fun exercises and tips on how to be true to yourself and create a life with more of what lights your soul on fire. When she’s not blogging or coaching, you can find her exploring the outdoors, writing snail mail to her friends, or cuddling with her English Bulldog.